portuguese: facts
after the success of the "slovak-ish" section, it was only fair that i made one specially dedicated to my people. so "with a little help from my friends", we gathered these very funny facts, that say much about the people, but please be aware that this is mostly for fun, and not to enforce prejudices!
in the meantime, another friend of mine showed me this funny compendium!
1) the portuguese always make a tour through their house when some guest comes for the first time.
2) in a concert in portugal, people consider it rude if the band or signer doesn’t make two or three encores!
3) portuguese are modest and always say “oh, it’s no big deal, my house is small, etc etc”.
4) before a new law is instituted, portuguese know already two or three ways to avoid it.
5) the portuguese are very vain.
6) the portuguese are always worried with what other people think.
7) the portuguese love to eat and always do business at the table.
8) portuguese people always blame someone else.
9) portuguese people will fill the disabled car park if it's in the shadow, and leave the rest empty.
10) portuguese people like having nice, big expensive _____ (applies to cars, clothes, houses, etc.) that they can't afford.
11) portuguese people treat visitors like kings and are the most hospitable people in the world.
12) portuguese people like to measure themselves against their neighbours/friends/people they know. all the time.
13) portuguese people are the champions of negative thinking.
14) portuguese people will give you the most and best food you have ever eaten in your life. fact.
15) when portuguese hurt or have an accident, they are always lucky, it could always be worse.
16) portuguese people, weather they have a year or a day to do something, will only do it on the very last day.
17) portuguese think they are the kings of “desenrascanço” (portuguese word meaning that one can solve everything with the least likely resources).
18) one only doubts about a portuguese’s punctuality when the delay is bigger than twenty or thirty minutes.
19) a portuguese often mistakes “desenrascanço” with “chico-espertice” (another expression for one who thinks he’s smarter than all the others and no one will catch him doing something more illegal or condemnable).
20) the portuguese type is summarized on these songs from “deolinda”: and “not now, benfica is playing and I have better things to do”.
21) portuguese always carry three mobile phones.
22) portuguese rip their parking tickets so that the police thinks they’ve never seen them. and if one doesn’t see...
23) portuguese who’s portuguese must have family in france or switzerland!
24) although all these things, the portuguese are a very generous nation.
25) the portuguese are a very hard working nation and, because of that, they always get two wages: a wage from work and another one from the unemployment aid!
26) the portuguese man (and women) are very hairy.
27) the portuguese don’t really like to be at war and always make alliances with any countries just to avoid any major fuss.
28) the portuguese live tied to their past where they were big in discovering the new world and hoping that the 5th empire will arrive.
29) the portuguese are very proud of their gastronomy.
30) the portuguese have this love-hate relationship with spain. mainly because they have inferiority issues.
31) portuguese people always know someone who will pull a few strings if they need a doctor's appointment, a job, etc. the "cunha" is indeed an institution in portugal!
32) portuguese people call "doctor" (more specifically "senhor doutor") to any person who has a degree (or not...).
33) a good taxi driver must have a big fingernail in his pinkie finger so that he can make his facial cleaning, it’s called “unhaca”.
34) to be a good portuguese citizen, you definitely should NOT be able to deal effectively with paperwork.